Sudden storm...

Sudden storm just struck this afternoon but it struck me much later...
Unprepared or maybe don't want to be prepared...
I don't know...
Looking out of the window with the clock ticking behind me...
I'm suppose to be sleeping by now...
But waves of thoughts just swept passed...
I don't need you to understand,
Don't need you to care,
Don't need you to know,
The rain stopped outside but it never did inside...
I should have known earlier but I choose to deny,

I gave my very best,
But I got the worse return...
I won't ask for anything else
I just want the rain to stop
But am wondering
What happens after the rain stops?
Will it be a rainbow?
Or will it be a flood?
If given another chance for a start-over,
I want it to snow
Snow when you appeared
Freeze everything from the beggining
Just like the painstakingly awaited winter...
Charles Kingsley said:
Every winter,
When the great sun has turned his face away,
The earth goes down into a vale of grief,
And fasts, and weeps and shrouds herself in sables,
Leaving her wedding garlands to decay
Then leaps in spring to his returning kisses...

But after much wondering,
Will I need the "return" of what Charles Kingsley meant?
I don't think so...
Maybe it's not too late to snow in me now
It happened before and I will let it happen again
And this time,
I'm gonna let it freeze
And please,
Don't bother thawing...